Maternal Sepsis - Jess and Amy's Stories

Episode 4 Maternal Sepsis

Abi Dawson

Hi, I'm Abi. And I'd like to extend a very warm welcome to these Sepsis Research FEAT, Words Of Sepsis podcasts. Over the course of eight episodes, we'll be talking to sepsis survivors and their families about their experiences of sepsis. Some of the stories you hear may be quite painful, many are uplifting. They are stories of shock, fear, sometimes loss, often courage, but also of hope.

Sepsis is a condition that still takes the lives of some 50,000 people in the UK every year. That's about five lives lost every hour. Our hope is that through these podcasts, many more people will become aware of sepsis and that some of the loss and suffering related to sepsis can be prevented as you increase your knowledge and the knowledge of others.

So do please listen, share these words of sepsis and help to raise awareness and save lives.

In this episode, you'll be hearing from Jess and Amy. Two young women whose lives were turned upside down in the most shocking and distressing way when they suffered maternal sepsis after childbirth. First off, you'll hear from Jess who explains how that diagnosis had a huge impact on her and her family.

Jess

th of June: 2018

Abi Dawson

The immediate aftermath of having sepsis also meant some of those first moments didn't happen the way she'd imagined.

Jess

I remember I actually had that initial photograph that everyone had the day after he was born. I'd got all the oxygen into my thing and I remember ripping it off and wearing it as like a headband. You can see how ill I am in that photo, but that was the first time I'd held my baby. Then I felt this rush of love. I did feel that. I didn't the day before, I felt like this rush of love and like, okay, we've survived something, dude, we're getting on, we're pretty cool. But for that whole day, he was silent, he didn't cry, he didn't move, he didn't do anything and then I thought, he's not very well. That's when the severity of what had happened, I suppose, hit me. I remember them trying to explain to me the bugs have had a bit of a party up in your uterus. And I was like Oh, yeah, it feels like a real big party, guys. Great party. I remember going for the six week check and I was like, okay, we've had sepsis. I remember the doctor saying no that's just what they say and I said no, no, it's on our medical records we've had sepsis. She was like, no. I was like, okay, but we have. She was like, oh yeah, okay, I can see that on your notes. And she goes oh that term just gets used so much these days, it's such a buzzword. I don't think it's a buzzword. I think that's genuinely what some people get diagnosed with and I just felt so let down by the medical professionals as well. I just thought I cannot protect him from anything because I feel like nobody believes the severity of what happened. Nobody told me either the complications that can come from being born with sepsis. I had to do my own research. There's a one in five chance that a child can have some form of special educational needs and I was acutely aware of it because of my job. I think I've been hyper vigilant from probably the off on that, because I think before the CBT, I really felt like that was my fault. I know now it's not. But he still has some long lasting effects, so he's asthmatic. So basically he breathed the infection in and it's done something to the lungs, the little bits of his lungs, I don't know, I'm not very medical. And I know he's got to live with with that for the rest of his life now, and that makes me feel angry. I know that there's medical stuff that can help him, but in my eyes, he was perfectly healthy before that.

Abi Dawson

Not the only impact it had on the family.

Jess

thday, and Ryan rang me up at: 1341

Abi Dawson

Jess says that the family is moving forward now since welcoming their second child, a healthy daughter.

Jess

We're doing pretty well. I mean, we have the generic parent, small human, tiredness. We probably are a lot more emotional at everything that Arthur does than the standard parent. I mean, we just went to his school meeting because he's going to school in September. Someone said you seem quite emotional. We've got a school uniform really early and we were like yeah, because there was a time we didn't think this was going to happen. I was so ashamed of what had happened because I felt everything was my fault for a long time. But now I've recomenced some counselling, looking at the trauma and etc, etc, etc. But yeah, I'm in a better place and I will speak about it now. I think that's what drove me to share my story because I was reading about Sepsis. I can't remember who shared the link, and I thought it really just can happen to anybody. It's horrific. I would like to say that if you feel unwell for any reason, or you notice a deterioration in your child, or somebody that you love, know, work with, and you see those sepsis, you see those things. If you think it could be, please just ask or please just ring the doctor, ring 111, ring 999 wherever severity. Because the quicker you act, the quicker and the more chance of survival. I would like women to be able to advocate for themselves if they feel unwell during childbirth or have somebody they know, could it be sepsis if they notice a deteriation in their partner? Because it really could just be. And it could just be that simple, simple question that could save somebody's life.

Abi Dawson

Now it's time to hear Amy's story. Like Jess, she developed sepsis after a traumatic birth experience.

Amy

What I think caused the sepsis was I was pregnant with my little baby girl and I was in labour and labour for 24 hours, just on gas and air, which I'm pretty proud of, if I'm honest, I love gas and air, it's amazing. And at the end, everything went wonky. The placenta came off and my heart kind of went wonky, my baby's heart went wonky. So I was rushed into emergency surgery. The doctors, they recognised things so quickly and helped me have an emergency section which saved me and my baby's life. So recovering after that, everything was going as well as it could be. I was slowly getting more out and about. I went out for my lunch. I think Millie must have been seven days old, my first outing. And you know you take all this luggage to literally go down the road for a cup of coffee because everything's so new. And everything was fine, I had a lovely lunch, came up the road and when I came home I felt a little bit funny. But everything feels funny after you've had a baby. So I wasn't too sure if this was normal or not. So I said to my husband Jack, I said, Jack, I don't feel too good and Iam going to go to lie down. As I went to lie down, I just started shaking, my teeth were chattering so much I couldn't even string a sentence together. When I stood up, I collapsed to the the ground and I was vomiting, I was so dizzy. What was really scary is, it happened in 30 minutes from the "oh, I don't feel to good" to being really severely ill. My husband wasn't too sure what to do, so he phoned for an ambulance. But unfortunately the NHS is obviously very stretched, so the ambulance said that it would take 4 hours and he just thought, there's no way I could wait 4 hours. So he phoned Triage because I was still under their care, because my baby was only seven days old and Triage actually asked to speak to me, but I couldn't speak to them my teeth were chattering so bad and I was kind of like, I can't help this. I just couldn't string a sentence properly. But they said, just come in, so we got all ready. My mum thankfully stayed with our baby Millie, so that we could just go to hospital ourselves. On the way, just literally from getting into the car, driving to hospital, which is quite a short journey, I became really delirious. So it was winter and it was dark and when I was going in to have Millie, it was dark and for some reason that part of my brain was so confused. I said, Jack, am I having a baby again? Obviously I've just had a baby, that's impossible. But my brain was just so confused. I was crying in the car, saying, I can't have a baby again. It's too scary, it's too scary. Where's my baby? I thought I had a baby. It was just really confusing.

Abi Dawson

Once Amy got to hospital, she began to doubt that there was anything wrong with her, despite her symptoms.

Amy

We got to the hospital and it was a tricky period of time. It's when triage at Ninewells [Hospital] changes from one level to a different level in the hospital. So we went to one level and then was told to go upstairs. As we went upstairs, I said, Jack, I'm having a panic attack. I'll be fine, I'm having a panic attack. And he was like, no, no, you have to stay here. I said, no, we'll just go home. It's just a panic attack. I was quite breathless, I thought, this must be what it is, there's nothing else that could possibly be. But by the time we got upstairs, that part of triage had shut. We had to go back downstairs. So by the time we got downstairs, I didn't know who Jack was, so quickly, in the matter of maybe 5 minutes, I was turned around going who are you? And really freaking out. The staff at the hospital were absolutely amazing. They were like, do you know why you're here? I'm like, I don't know why I'm here. I should'nt be at hospital. I really became just somebody that I'm not at all. It was really strange. They were trying to put needles into me so I could get a quick shot of antibiotics through the bloodstream and to get my temperature down. Now, I don't like needles at the best of times, but me being sane would be like, yes, on you go, but because I was that delirious, I was screaming and shouting, like, get away from me, don't come near me. Really fighting members of staff off, which is not my personality at all. The team were absolutely amazing one midwife distracted me and was just chatting about loads of nonsense like, what did you have for your tea? And things like that which allowed the other staff to do what they needed to do with my body. But when they spoke to me later on, they said had they not got me in time, then my organs could potentially start shutting down and they may have had to put me in a coma. I think just the thought of that really freaked me out because we've actually lost a member of our family due to sepsis years ago. He was put into an artificial coma to help preserve his organs and things like that but unfortunately just never woke up. So I don't know whether a small part of my brain latched onto that thought and then became more terrified about oh my goodness, this is how serious it is. But it was just so sudden and none of us have heard of sepsis before. I just think if we knew what it was, I think maybe we would have just drove to the hospital straight away and not waited to see what the ambulance said, not waited for my mum and things like that. It was just so quick and sudden and very scary.

Abi Dawson

Amy was in hospital for three nights.

Amy

They had to monitor me, so every 4 hours I was getting checked up on and they were just constantly whooshing antibiotics and things through my blood just to cool me down and to deal with infection. The infection was internal, so you couldn't see anything but sometimes I believe if it's on your arms and legs you can see the blood poisoning. But because it was inside, nobody could see. So they had to do all the tests to find out, first of all, what it is, where is it located and how can they deal with it. They did say they can't really think of a reason how else you could get blood poison other than from a severe wound, which would be my section. I didn't have any other cuts or that. This seems awful, but I'm quite resentful that it happened because I had this notion of I'll get to see my daughter for the first time, I've got this and that to do. Because the emergency section unfortunately, I don't remember the first day of my daughter's life at all. There was just that many drugs in my system to look after me that I actually can't remember much. There are photos, that's the only memories I've got, obviously. I remember day two onwards, but that's like I just don't remember day one, which I'm quite upset about, but it is what it is. And then I feel like I was just getting on my feet. So I was like come on, let's go to this cafe, let's get used to normal world, let's show this baby off, and then I feel like it was a major setback because I was then in hospital. And the staff were amazing, they actually let millie come and stay with me, which was brilliant. So once I stopped being crazy, I was able to spend some good quality time. But ironically, it was Halloween weekend and I, of course had about eight different newborn baby outfits for Halloween. So blessed. She was getting changed in the hospital so I could get my photographs.

Abi Dawson

Amy's now home and recovered. When we spoke to her she and her family were enjoying lots of time together before she finished maternity leave in mid August. But the memory of her experience is still there.

Amy

It does play in my mind a lot and I don't know, this sounds awful, I don't know if I want more children because I have this fear that if something happens again and what's the chance of me actually surviving? And I need to be there for my family. I think that's kind of put a bit of a damper on that. I am quite scared that it will happen again. I've never felt so out of control in my life. It feels like inside my brain was the real me, but I couldn't communicate that, it was just coming out nonsense because it was so delirious and that really freaked me out, not been able to communicate and say, actually, I'm okay, this is what's happening. It was just such a scary time. So I am quite scared that if I did have another baby, if it was an emergency section or if I could get sepsis in another way, I never want to experience that ever again. So it has put me off quite a few things. I just think it's so important for every single person to know the signs. Whether you're a new mum or whoever you are, it's so important to know what these signs look like and it's so important to act on them fast. When we got to the hospital, the members of staff said to Jack, had he not brought me in, I might not have been here. Had he waited for the ambulance and he waited for 4 hours, I definitely would not have been there and I don't know. Jack's fantastic dad, he is absolutely amazing. But I don't know how anybody who's a new parent could have had suddenly been on their own and have something so serious happen to their partner. It's really terrifying. So I just think Know the signs and act immediately. Even if you have one symptom, go and get it checked just in case. I do feel sorry for Jack because he was completely aware of both situations, both of the emergency section and the sepsis. I was pretty much unconscious, but he was cluedd on and he said it was the worst two weeks of his life. He said it's the best because we got Millie. But at the same time, when I had the emergency section, he was sitting there going, Am I either going to come out on my own or am I going to come out with my baby, or I'm going to come with my wife and baby. After the section, the doctor came through and said that Millie was fine and he asked about me and he said I don't know just yet. We were sitting waiting to find out. Like, okay, my daughter is fine, but what about my wife? And then a week later he was like, what has happened? I'm sitting absolutely delirious. He's got no idea what is going on. He knows it's not me, he knows something's not right. And he didn't know what to do. The best thing he did do was go straight to hospital and that was completely the right thing to do. But at the time you're thinking, is this normal recovery? Is she going to be fine? Do we wait half an hour, do we have a sip of water? He acted fantastically, he really did. But it was quite a terrifying time. We do talk about it, but now we've kind of like buried in a box. Like, no, but it was a horrible time. It's done with. Let's never think about it again.

Abi Dawson

Jess and Amys stories highlight the shocking reality of sepsis, at what should be a time of joy and celebration of new life. We are so glad that both of them made such good recovery.

Abi Dawson

We really hope that listening to this Words Of Sepsis podcast has helped increase your awareness of sepsis. Do check out all eight episodes in the series and share them as widely as you can using them to start conversations with friends and family about sepsis. It could save a life, possibly even your own.

If you've been affected by anything you've heard, or you'd like more information about the groundbreaking research into sepsis that the charity funds please do visit our website. www.sepsisresearch.org.uk, where you can also make a donation.

You'll be helping us to save lives today and fund research for tomorrow.